Do You Deserve God's Love?

In a not-so-subtly-named book, You Deserve the Love of God, the author argues we are hindered from enjoying salvation because of our perceived unworthiness. The back cover claims, “The residue of shame whispers, ‘…but I don’t deserve it.’ This issue is deeply ingrained in our Christianity. We have inherited a false theology in the basic unworthiness of the human creature.”

This issue has been on my mind lately because just a week ago or so, a celebrity pastor tweeted something to the same effect as the above book title, and was then taken to task by other more conservative commentators. It’s not a new controversy, of course, but it appears to be one that is quite relevant to the current conversation.

Personally, I’ve received mixed signals over the years on whether I “deserve” the love of God or not, even in the theological circles I have run in. If you’ll allow me to commit the sin of over-generalizing, I could say that in the so-called Charismatic/inner-healing streams I have heard teachings about being “worthy” of God’s love. I’ve seen close friends find great benefit and restoration from this kind of thinking. And then on the other hand, in the more Reformed/conservative circles, I have heard scathing arguments against the notion of deserving anything from God, including from those who recently took the celebrity pastor to task.

To be honest, the apologetics of the latter seem to have the Bible on their side.

You’ll be hard pressed to find Scriptures about us “deserving” the grace or love of God. In every passage I see, the reason behind our salvation or belovedness is always traced back to some inherent quality found in God, not us. For example:

“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:3-5, NIV, italics mine)

Or from the Old Testament: “The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you…” (Deuteronomy 7:7-8)

I think, then, the Bible is pretty clear about whether we deserve God’s love, or are worthy of it for that matter. He chooses us because of who He is. He loves us because of who He is. For a humanistic culture desperate to feel good without God, we must be leery about unbiblical catchphrases about being our best selves or having some kind intrinsic awesomeness that wasn’t a direct gift from the Almighty in the first place.

So what about my experience with inner healing and the good fruit I have seen from people finding freedom from shame in their worth before God?

Take the passage I quoted from Ephesians 2 above. After making it clear that we do not deserve the riches of grace that Christ lavishes on us, it goes on to describe some of this grace. Verse 10 reads, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” The word for “handiwork” is poema—we are God’s work of art, His divine poem.

In another important passage on this topic, Psalm 8 states of humankind that God has “made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor” (v.5). Just as there are numerous passages illustrating our unworthiness before a holy God, there are also several passages expounding upon the glory and beauty that has been bestowed upon us by this same God.

Perhaps, in a sense, those pastors have the Bible on their side too. 

Could it be, then, that some of the above denominations I mentioned simply dwell on Ephesians 2:3 (“deserving of wrath”), and other portions of the Church fixate on Ephesians 2:10 (“God’s handiwork”)? I do think this is part of the problem, and it’s one reason that I have become a firm believer these days in teaching through whole books of the Bible at a time. In topic-based sermon series it’s just too easy to focus exclusively on our favorite pet truths at the expense of the whole counsel of God.

If that was all, maybe we’d be off the hook, but I’m not sure that’s the case. It’d be the blind men and the elephant parable all over again—we’re all just seeing one part of the truth. No, I think the fact remains that we need to be more responsible with our language. In my opinion it is misleading to declare, much less title a book, “You Deserve the Love of God.” As we saw, when it comes to deserving, the Bible teaches the exact opposite of that. Without being clearer in this pivotal subject we may be held accountable for an irresponsible message that tickles ears and relates all too easily to a self-absorbed society. Without receiving Christ’s gracious work on the cross, “You Deserve the Wrath of God.”

On the other hand, once that foundational gospel message is firmly in place, there is nothing wrong with highlighting the Psalm 8 truth, that God has crowned us with glory and honor, that we are made in God’s very image. In Christ, as Ephesians goes on to teach, we’re His work of art, gifted with righteousness and a new nature, with which we go on to walk out integrity and holiness with peace and joy. What good news! That is where the inner healing message comes into play, where still broken and shame-ridden believers learn to receive what Jesus bought for them on the cross. In that context, the ones involved in this ministry understand that their “worthiness” of love comes only as a gift from God, and not from some innate amazingness. Within those parameters, a lot of healing and restoration can indeed take place.

After doing a little bit of internet searching, I learned that the celebrity pastor quoted above (a female) had been in an extremely abusive relationship for a number of years, which has become a big part of her testimony. Hearing this new piece of info made my evaluation of her soften a little bit. I have noticed a common thread between past abuse victims—the abuse chips away at their worth, destroying a healthy sense of self. A message is ingrained into their very being that they are mistreated because there is something hideously wrong with them. Note that this is quite different from the true conviction that the Spirit brings because of sin. It is a soul-crushing condemnation that results in the deforming of the human soul, leading to despair and depression. 

In the redemption stories of these past abuse victims, I’ve observed, time and time again God and the gospel help them to renounce self-hatred and recover themselves in His grace. Instead of looking at themselves with demonic disgust, they can see beauty like Ephesians 2:10 describes.

There’s an important lesson here. You may be theologically correct but still applying it at the wrong time in the wrong way. If you are counseling a severe abuse victim, I wouldn’t recommend starting with fire, brimstone, and a “you deserve God’s wrath” message. 

At the same time, teachers and preachers today with hundreds of thousands of followers are responsible for a sound gospel message, not simply majoring on the sweet points. Hopefully we can all grow up in this area, seeing that we are truly “dark, yet lovely” (SOS 1:5) before a righteous God, never without need of His grace.