Endure the Cross; Despise the Shame

Let us...run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-1

A passing comment spoken tonight, one not even worth repeating, caused me to question the course my life has taken the past few years. Specifically, the way my life has gone since I have begun to really follow Jesus.

I suddenly began to feel that I was very irrelevant to the world, boring amidst my friends, and even a spiritual failure in certain ways. What have I got to show for seven years of prayer, striving to live New Testament Christianity, and looking to the Word of God rather than the passions and trends of the people my age around me? Don't get me wrong, friends, I've made some pretty big mistakes the past few years, and I've done the above things poorly and inconsistently. But I know that I have given my heart to Jesus, and I have followed Him whereever He has beckoned me come until this point in time. Has it all been in vain?

I spend half of my day resting in a lonely EZ chair in a side room of my house that my Mom and Dale have graciously allowed me to inhabit in this season. I have never experienced long term depression before, but for the past 8 months I have constantly had to fight feelings of sadness and anxiety that are apparently "normal" for people wrestling with Lyme. It's hard for me to read or pray for any significant period of time due to fatigue and concentration problems, and I must conserve my energy wisely so I can spend a few hours each day doing something productive or hanging out with friends. I get frustrated with my family quickly; I get scared at the slightest negative medical report; I don't have much energy to help or serve others. Is this the life of an overcoming Christian?

I took my turmoil to the Lord. I poured out my heart before Him, with some honest questions and, yes, I'll admit a little bit of complaining. Soon, I felt a verse I hadn't read in awhile rise up in my spirit: "Jesus...endured the cross, despising the shame" (Hebrews 12:2). He despised the shame.

A response from the Lord. The shame I was feeling at this point in my life - I was to despise it. To scorn it, shrug it off, and maybe spit on it for good measure after it slid off of my shoulders. It was not from Him, anyway.

I began to wonder, what kind of shame did Jesus feel on His way to the cross? His disciples had abandoned Him, the crowds that once cheered Him now mocked Him, and His life and ministry were about to be cut off in His prime. Talk about failure. What did He have to show for all the intercession, preaching, and love He had poured out onto the cracked soil of this wicked world? Nothing, it seemed, but pain, rejection, and embarassment.

More importantly, though, what did He do with that shame? He despised it. I understand that now. He didn't let the apparent foolishness of His life get the best of Him. Instead, He looked to the "joy that was set before Him" and He endured the cross. He knew that the cross was not the end of the story. In fact, He knew that His greatest victory was just around the corner.

To be a Christian means to endure the cross and to simultaneously despise the shame that comes with it. Our cross is from God but the shame isn't. Have you ever felt silly for taking the road less traveled because of the voice of the Lord, for standing up for Truth, or for being weak in a world that glorifies strength? Do not let it get to you. You will suffer because of the Gospel that you carry, but you must not be ashamed because of it.

Now we better comprehend Paul when he writes his intimate letter to Timothy and says, "For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day" (2 Timothy 1:12). Let it be known that Paul was tempted to be ashamed of all the suffering that he had undergone. That is why he fiercely makes this declaration: "No, I will not be embarassed about the life that I have lived. I know God, and He has used my sufferings for more good than ever possible if I had merely rode the wave of prosperity and grown fat in my study room in Jerusalem."

Despise the shame of the cross. If you don't, you despise the One who bore it first. Rather, endure it, looking forward to all the good that will be accomplished in the long run. In doing so, You will honor Jesus and grow more in His likeness in every difficult season of your life.