What To Do with Free Time

If only time flew like a dove

Well, we could watch it fly and just keep looking up

And we've got time on our hands

Nothing but time on our hands

- Paramore, "Hallelujah"

 

Lately I'm finding myself with more free time than usual.  Well, that might be a bit of an understatement.  I don't have a job, I'm not leading any ministries, and I don't have any real friends here at Grover Beach.  I've joined a small group at church, and there are nightly prayer meetings going on throughout the week that I look forward to participating in, but for the first time in a loooong time for me, these events are all optional.

Really, I can do whatever I want with my time. 

Then again, that's why I moved here - to separate myself from the overdose of commitments to rest more and do whatever it takes to recover my health.  Now, I know that saying I can do whatever I want will sound like I'm trying to do the typical make-my-life-sound-awesome-on-social-media thing that is so common.  I'm really not.  I don't think anyone's really jealous of my life, because if you want my whole life, you get the whole package - chronic Lyme Disease and all that.  And there's the hours of filling out medical forms, negotiating with evasive health insurance agents, and purchasing a plethora of supplements and medications from just as many pharmacies and outlets.  Trust me, these are not "a few of my favorite things..." 

I happily admit that there is a sweetness, a relief, an immense gratitude at the opportunity to have a season like this in which my schedule is free.  There is joy at the prospect of having freedom from so much responsibility, and I plan on staying thankful for that. 

But there is also a holy fear.  

I decided a long time ago that Jesus was worth my all.  I have fought to give Him that, often unsuccessfully, but fight I have.  I still believe that, perhaps now more than ever.  The statement of 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 is becoming a reality for me:  "For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."  Paul's logic is becoming my own: If Christ gave all for me, why not give all back to Him?  

So when I look at a week full of empty spaces on my schedule, I don't actually think, "I'm going to do whatever I want!"  I pray, "Jesus, what do You want to do?"  (In the end, it's truly a much happier way to live.)

There are several things that come to my mind.  I feel strongly moved to dedicate a portion of every day to writing - something that I always desire, but rarely have the chance until now (thank you God!).  Being connected to the church here, mostly in a relational sense, is a priority.  Of course, taking care of my health - technically, the reason I came here - is high up on the list.  Studying the Bible, reading good books, and keeping in touch with friends and family members are all other things that I not only feel prompted to do, but I feel much excitement about doing. 

Mostly, though, I want to pray.  Not because I like prayer, per se.  That would be like saying I like talking.  I don't, really, though I know some people do.  I'd rather listen; I'd rather read.  I do, however, love friends, family, and even meeting new people on occasion, and so I enjoy talking to them unto that end.  The same is true of prayer for me.  The act of praying itself holds no appeal for me.  I cringe when I think of religious systems, be it Muslim, Buddhist, or even Christian - that depict prayer as merely a "centering device," or some other mode of connecting with the universe, a certain deity, or worse, myself!  It's when the God of Jesus Christ is on the other end of the line, so to speak, that a great anticipation is stirred up in my soul.  To know this God is the ultimate joy!  And so I like praying, inasmuch as it leads me into intimacy with Him. 

This is the hardest and yet most beautiful use of anyone's time, I believe.  It doesn't come naturally to anyone, contrary to those who believe some are "gifted" in prayer.  Yes, some people are called and granted grace to pray and meditate long hours, even as an occupation, but the challenges are as real for them as anybody else.  Nobody prays with ease, at least in the beginning.  Prayer is a denial of the fundamental fleshly human desire to live independently from God and His commands.  Quite powerfully, it flies contrary to this world's way of doing things and puts us delightfully back under the safety of God's sovereign rule.  The more we do it with an eye on God and a thirst for Him, the more we are radically changed, from the inside out.  So though it be counterintuitive, even seeming like the biggest waste of time, relational prayer becomes the wisest use of our precious minutes and hours each day. 

I think an issue that is of equal importance to that of the proper use of free time is what we should not do with free time.  Whether we have a whole week of free time, a whole weekend, or merely an hour a night, these questions remain urgently applicable.  TIME is one of our most important resources, if not our most important.  Someone once said money is power, but time is life.  When you squander time, you waste your life.  

 

There are things I won’t do with my time, and things I simply limit.  For me, TV is on the list of things I won’t do.  With the consideration that my life belongs to Jesus, and that my choices will echo in eternity, I can’t think of a single show that merits my attention, save the news.  Of course, outright sinful things are excluded from my schedule – inappropriate websites, flagrantly wasting money, robbing banks and whatnot.  On the other hand, I limit movies, and only movies that have some kind of redemptive theme make that small list.  

I limit social media.  Social media and excessive text messaging in and of itself can be some of the biggest distractions from our worthy priorities in this generation.  I believe the benefits must be carefully weighed against the dangers, and then due caution exercised.  If that language sounds too extreme, I want to suggest that you don’t understand the immense value of your own life and the time that has been stewarded to you as a gift from above.  

Time is important.  This is why Paul encouraged us to “look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16).  He goes on to say in verse 17, “Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” In our nation and age of options, there are more opportunities to be foolish than ever before. 

For some, the issue of time will be the difference between heaven and hell.  That is why God gives us more of it, holding Himself back from coming in His full power right here and now:  “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).  

I can’t tell you how you should use your time, and I don’t want to.  The fun of it is having a conversation with God about it, and seeing what He has for you.  He really does give you the desires of your heart, and the things that are prohibited or limited are joy-stealers when abused, anyway.  

In talking with my doctor recently, he noted that he could only email me so often without charging extra because, in his words - "time is all I have."  There's truth in that, I realized.  Let's use it wisely.